The most difficult part of communication is not the part where you tell the other person what you want to say, because most people like to share their view on things with other people. Therefor social media, like Facebook and twitter, is such a success. But the skill to listen to the speaker is the most difficult part, not only to hear what the other is telling you, but also to understand; to really allow the words and body language of the speaker, to enter your mind. You need to focus on what the other is trying to explain to you. If you are able to repeat in your own mind what is being said, in your own words, you are sure you did listen well.
Train yourself to seek the main idea of the conversation, you can practice when watching a television program, but also when you have a chat with your friends. What is this talk really all about, what is the other person trying to tell you?
You must focus on what is being said, rather than allowing yourself to be diverted by your environment, or allowing your mind to wander. Do not try to read messages on your iphone while, pretending, to listen.
To be able to listen well, you should train yourself in this expertise, for example how to separate the main point, the key message, from all the words that supports it. People are no machines that always use the same technique, they use in their conversation many ways, many different words and even body language to pass the message to you. And they might even modify their arguments, during the conversation, if they notice the other person seems not to agree with them. So make sure you understand what the other person is telling you about her thoughts.
Consider the feelings of the other person and allow her to finish talking.
When you want to give your response, take your time before you answer. And try to make it a custom to repeat in your own words what the other has said. This helps you to be sure you really understand the meaning of what the other person just told you.
Do not start, in your own mind, formulating your response until the other is done with her speech, this will avoid you might miss critical information given away in the last sentences.
There is nothing wrong in taking notes, while listening, in fact it helps you to demonstrate to the talker your interest in what is being told. But avoid to start to make drawings as this is a clear sign you stopped listening!
Train yourself to seek the main idea of the conversation, you can practice when watching a television program, but also when you have a chat with your friends. What is this talk really all about, what is the other person trying to tell you?
You must focus on what is being said, rather than allowing yourself to be diverted by your environment, or allowing your mind to wander. Do not try to read messages on your iphone while, pretending, to listen.
To be able to listen well, you should train yourself in this expertise, for example how to separate the main point, the key message, from all the words that supports it. People are no machines that always use the same technique, they use in their conversation many ways, many different words and even body language to pass the message to you. And they might even modify their arguments, during the conversation, if they notice the other person seems not to agree with them. So make sure you understand what the other person is telling you about her thoughts.
Consider the feelings of the other person and allow her to finish talking.
When you want to give your response, take your time before you answer. And try to make it a custom to repeat in your own words what the other has said. This helps you to be sure you really understand the meaning of what the other person just told you.
Do not start, in your own mind, formulating your response until the other is done with her speech, this will avoid you might miss critical information given away in the last sentences.
There is nothing wrong in taking notes, while listening, in fact it helps you to demonstrate to the talker your interest in what is being told. But avoid to start to make drawings as this is a clear sign you stopped listening!
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